While Quora is nice place to find useful information, sometimes there are confessions where I’m not sure if I’d want to laugh or cry, if I’m disgusted or frightened; not only because of confession itself, but because of reaction of other readers, too – it really concerns me to see that many people falling for skewed or incomplete version of an event…
There is a story of a girl who, along with her boyfriend, visited her twin sister and her husband. They ventured on a drinking spree; the boyfriend and the sister gave up and left the party, while our girl and her brother-in-law continued, and at one point she clearly admits her state was not really under control:
I was intoxicated to the point of somewhat blacking out, as far as my memory of the next events go.
I was only about 135 pounds and I didn’t have a huge tolerance for hard alcohol.
I did drink beer regularly, so I assumed I would be fine. I was wrong.
Next thing she remembers was that she was pinned against the outdoor wall, and somebody was pounding her from her back. She turned around to see better, and, shocked, realized it was her brother-in-law. As she turned, it seems that he realized the mistake, too, as he murmured
I’m sorry. Your just not #### (my sisters name).
He pulled himself out of me and walked into the house as if nothing even happened.
Next that we know about the guy is that she saw him passed out on a couch in the living room, just minutes after the incident.
At this point, I was about to laugh – what an obscene, embarassing mistake! God knows what had they done to get out of the house and how that conundrum really started, who of the drunken two iginited the spark – looks like both they were unconscious, and only their animal instincts worked as expected…
So far, so good – I wondered whether they will tell this story to their partners around breakfast, to have a laugh, or forget it altogether, but what I read next trully shocked me.
Our girl rushed back to his BF, woke him up and said… I could not believe what did I read… she said… oh, my god, she said that her brother-in-law, his best friend, her nieces father, her twin sisters husband had just raped her!
Yes, you have read it well – she accused the guy of raping her.
They called the police in, she was taken to hospital, and so on; eventually, as you can imagine, the families fell apart.
Our girl presents herself as a victim; which she might be – victim of her uncontrolled alcohol consumption.
But the real victim is her brother-in-law (and, as I understand from the article the hosts have child(ren), her niece(s), too).
No-one knows how did they end in this situation. The guy returned to house and passed out on a couch just minutes after the missfortunate shag; does it sound like a rapist’s behaviour? Certainly no! He trully thought it was his wife (understandably, as they are twin sisters, remember), and she was too intoxicated to remember her behaviour that led to incident.
You remember, he shagged her outside the house; how did she get there? He might have forcibly dragged her out of the house and tore apart her panties; but she doesn’t remember it. If she felt him penetrating into her, she would certainly felt a violent dragging, wouldn’t she?! In addition, he was intoxicated as well, so chances are he would have not been able to drag her out smoothly – he would have tripped up, drop her down, so no way she wouldn’t have felt it!
That’s a scenario he was accused for, although no-one was able to confirm it, and no-one will ever be able.
But what are the chances of another scenario – she was intoxicated by drink she was not used to, so her behaviour changed, she started seducing him, she started dancing around him and pushing him with her hips, she pulled him for a tie and led him outside to mitigate the risk of waking up their partners… And what followed is natural reaction of a male challenged by a female, an act of sexual intercourse with mutual consent. Only after a while, maybe because of the fresh air outside, they both realized a mistake and quickly withdrew from their activities.
Who can say which of two scenarios occured?! No-one, and likely none of them happened, but something in between – something they both caused and wanted judging by their behaviour, but one of them was declared an aggressor, the other one a victim…
And untill the first scenario is proven, the guy should not have been declared guilty! But the judical system in this case obviously relied on a prejudice that man, being biologically stronger than woman, was guilty regardless the lack of evidence not only if this woman gave the consent or not, but also if she provoked the event herself!
Rape is terrible crime, indeed, and rapists should be chemically castrated without much of a trial. However, women have the privilege of making their mind afterwards when they get sober, so consentual sex turns into a rape… if she didn’t say no at all, is it still a rape?!